Are bars/clubs good places to start relationships?
Bars and clubs get a bad reputation of being loud, crowded, and full of people under the influence, but anywhere one might meet new people and socialize is a chance for connection. Plus, it is best to look for love where a person naturally goes to spend time, to meet someone with similar interests and hobbies. If one usually spends his or her weekends grabbing a drink at the bar, or going clubbing, then trying to meet someone at a museum or art gallery might not work out in their favor.
A local bar may not seem like the most traditionally romantic place for a first meeting, but, realistically, they draw many different types of people and promote a casual atmosphere for communication. As an article for Boulders on Broadway explains, 'Bars aren't all about loud music and rowdy patrons; they offer various activities, depending on the bar type.' A majority of bars offer unique events like karaoke and trivia nights, and some even offer arcade games, all of which promote a fun, competitive environment and a place for personalities to thrive.
In the age of dating apps—where dating can feel rushed, rude, and impersonal—in-person connection is special, wherever it occurs. According to Metro US, bars offer an 'opportunity for instant connection in a way online dating doesn't.' Furthermore, a study conducted by Michigan State University found that 'relationships that start out online are 28% more likely to break down in their first year than relationships where the couples first met face-to-face.'
Meeting people at a bar may seem old-fashioned, but that is because it is a tried and true method. The casual atmosphere allows people to relax and be themselves and foster new connections.
Many young people frequent bars and clubs regularly, usually with the goal of having a great time, enjoying drinks, playing bar games, dancing and listening to music, and then, perhaps, even going home with someone. But for those considering finding their future spouse or making a lasting relationship, bars and dance clubs can easily become the wrong place to come for the following reasons.
The bar and club environment is not good for generating meaningful types of relationships; it’s simply not practical. The music is blaring where people can hardly speak or hear and are forced to shout to carry a conversation, and strangers bump into and can occasionally spill drinks onto each other. There is often constant jostling from crowds, and most might find it nearly impossible to have any type of romantic conversation. Likewise, a significant number of men visit bars and clubs because they are only interested in a one-night stand. Not many men go to a bar expecting this to be the place where they will find a future partner.
Lastly, and most obviously, the fact that alcohol is present and involved in high volumes is another thing to consider when evaluating places to start meaningful relationships. Most people at bars tend to overdrink, and alcohol clouds a person’s judgment and clarity. Alcohol makes everything look colorful, nice, and pleasant but can lead people to make hasty or uncalculated decisions. Multiple alcoholic beverages can numb the brain's senses to a place where one might possibly not be able to tell Chris Pine from Chris Pratt. The 'watering hole' is the last place to initiate a meaningful and lasting relationship, but there are many other less intense options out there to meet someone new and start a potential relationship.
- Statista reported in 2020, that from 1995-2017, “heterosexuals who met their partner on the internet rose sharply from 2 percent to 39 percent.”
- In 2017, Verily Magazine interviewed bar tenders about tips for meeting men, listing advice such as arriving before 10 PM, come in pairs (“pairs beget pairs”), and restrict drinking.
- Pew Research reported in 2020 that 75% of survey respondents say dating has become very or somewhat difficult in the last 10 years.
- WorldAtlas lists 10 of the country’s most iconic bars as Chicago’s Green Mill Cocktail Lounge, San Francisco’s Tonga Room and Vesuvio, NYC’s King Cole Bar, Boston’s Green Dragon Tavern, Washington D.C.’s Round Robin, New Orleans’ Carousel Piano Bar & Lounge, and Nashville’s Tootsies Orchid Bar & Lounge.